Words Matter

long ramble today, not sure where I'm going with my musings - might want to grab a cup of tea if you want to come along for the journey...

As a child I learned the rejoinder "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me".  (Yes, we had bullies when I was a child - seems there will always be bullies.)

As I grew older I began to realize that while words might not physically harm me, they could do damage in far less obvious, more subtle ways.

Words matter.

The words the world tells us about ourselves, about others, shape our attitudes towards the reality we live in.

As human beings there appear to be two major kinds of people - those who are essentially negative, those who are not.  Those who only see clouds, those who go digging for silver linings.  Those who are afraid, those who do something anyway.

Fear is not a bad thing, in and of itself.  My fear of injury has prevented me from having more injuries that I have had!  My danger radar is - and always has been - well functioning.

But sometimes I needed to do a risk assessment - how much would it hurt me to write and submit an article for publication?  If I got rejected, how much damage would happen to my ego? 

If I design and create textiles, classes, books and no one buys them, how much damage would I incur? 

At times I did suffer 'damage' - textiles not purchased.  Books ignored.  Classes cancelled due to lack of enrollment.

But I had a vision.  I decided to commit to that vision and work towards making it happen and that rejection was simply going to be part of the process, part of the journey.

Throughout my life I have loved reading.  My mother encouraged and enabled my reading habit from a very early age.  It was easy child minding for her.  She knew that if I was engrossed in a book I wasn't getting into mischief. 

I read pretty much everything I could get my hands on - comics, fiction, non-fiction, prose and poetry.

I learned to love a well turned phrase, a description that showed me the mundane in a new and profound light.

At 12 I discovered science fiction and away I went down that rabbit hole.  I'd already read the Alice books because mom had signed me up for a 'classics' book club.  And of course the 'fairy tales',  which opened up the world of fantasy and magic.

Books took me to different worlds and different times.  I explored how other people thought and the challenges they were faced with.

My horizons expanded and - I suppose - my empathy grew.

Most of the travel I did as a child was 'local' - as in within my own province.  At 16 mom put me on the train by myself to make the 4 day journey to Montreal, where I was hosted by my aunt.  None of my cousins then living at home spoke English so I pretty much had only my aunt to speak to.  Then at 19 it was another train journey to Montreal so I could board a freighter to sail to Norway, then train to Orebro,Sweden.  Again I was plunged into a 'foreign' country - different culture, different language.

It was that trip where I learned that I could function on my own, more or less, with the kindness of strangers.

I am not afraid of people from other countries or cultures, probably because I did so much reading I am no stranger to differences within the human race.

I don't know.

All I know is that Words Matter.  The words we use to speak to ourselves matter.  The words we use to refer to other people matter.

I sometimes stumble in the kind of self-talk I use.  Society has long ingrained in me attitudes towards the female body.  I have absorbed some of those negative attitudes and sometimes those words come out.  When someone else calls me out for using them, I am taken aback.  But when they do, it is a good time to examine my attitudes.  And try to change the words I use - to myself, and to others.

This time of pandemic is a good time to stop and think.  Think about the words we use,  how we perceive ourselves and others.  Think about how we can improve things for all, including ourselves.  As many people have pointed out, if someone has a problem, it is very rarely the fault of someone who has less than they do.  When we make things better for those who have little, we help everyone.

Rick Hansen has done a lifetime of work bringing the issues of people with disability into the light.  Breaking my ankle and being non-weight bearing for six weeks (and the months of recovery afterwards!) brought the issue of mobility home to me on a very personal level.  As I age and my mobility lessens, I have a heightened awareness of how things like doors opening automagically help everyone, not just someone in a wheelchair or using mobility aids (crutches, walker, etc).  They help the young mother with a stroller, elderly with bags and so on.

So many 'disabilities' are invisible.  If someone is healthy and physically fit, it is really hard to see how someone with a physical challenge may find it difficult to move in our society.  Building a ramp or having ground level access makes a building accessible to everyone. 

During this pandemic we may all be in the same rising sea, but some of us are on a raft or a leaky dinghy, not a yacht. 

In this time of self-isolation and self-care, I am finding it a good time to look inside myself and examine my reality. 

I am grateful for many things.  The life I have led - all of it, the ups and the downs - my friends/family who have taught me many lessons. 

I am grateful for living in a 'safe' environment for me, the privilege I have of being able to stay home and out of the line of transmission, but still be able to get the help I need with my aging body.  I appreciate the fact I can stay in touch with people via the internet, and that I have a small circle of friends willing to come here and physically distance visit in my carport.  Hopefully the virus will be vanquished enough that we will be able to meet inside in the winter!

But our province also seems to be having the predicted second wave.  Numbers are growing again, and too many people are complacent about taking appropriate safety measures.

Stay safe everyone, until we can meet again in real life.  {{{hugs}}}