Obscured

As September creeps by, the weather changes and we are having foggy mornings.  As I looked out my window this morning, I could barely see the large hill out back as it was obscured by the early morning autumn fog.

I thought about how we live in our 'bubble' of what is 'normal', what we can see, what we cannot, but what we know is there but not visible.

I suppose part of my musing is my advancing age, but really?  I've always thought about such things.  Maybe it was how much I read as a child.  Or maybe I read because I thought about such things.

I wonder about how other people live, what their experience is like, how they deal with the vicissitudes of their lives.  I wonder about what is going to happen in the coming months, years.  I think about what I would like to do with my life, in the time I have left.  I suppose that last one is age related...

The past six months have been a time of 'pause' for most people.  Personally I was already dealing with a major life change - retirement.  Of a sort.  It was a time for me to think about what was to come.  What I wanted to happen.  What DID I want to happen, anyway?  And not really knowing the answer to that question.

I knew I wanted - needed - to keep weaving.  But my body was objecting.  I tried a few different things, each of which helped - to a certain extent.  But my personal horizons were shrinking and I had to sit with that reality for a while.  So, staying home to reflect on the changes happening was helpful, I think.

Conclusions?  I have none.  But there are questions I think about from time to time.  What does the future hold is one of those questions and I never manage to come up with any kind of answer.  Because we don't know, we can't know, until it arrives.

So I make plans.  I hope.  I try things.  Some of them work, some of them get abandoned along the way.

With the coming of autumn (in the northern hemisphere) the cycle of life is generally a gearing up of the 'usual'.  School reopens.  Various programs, dormant for the summer, are renewed.  We make plans.  We hunker down for winter.

After six months of staying in a very small bubble, I find myself restless.  I know I am not alone in this, but it is not safe to expand bubbles very much.  In my province the numbers of covid-19 are rising and the second wave that was predicted appears to be set to arrive.

For those of us with internet access, there are a growing list of opportunities to learn on line.  The challenge is to convey information which is normally taught in real life, hands on, interactive with the instructor.  On line is remote and there is difficulty in showing students what they need to see.

For myself, I have several topics which can be done remotely, and after some brainstorming yesterday, I managed to come up with three topics which could be done as a three part series, or individually.  They are based on guild program topics that I have been asked to do in the past, lecture style, a conveyance of information rather than practical physical skills.  More theory, more information rather than skill building and feedback.  Because while I might be able to show what to do, it is much more difficult in a Zoom meeting for me to see what each person is doing, then put my hands on theirs to tweak position or posture.

My new massage therapist has been great to work with.  He frequently pulls out his anatomy book to show me exactly which muscles I need to work on and seems to understand what I'm doing with the loom.  Yesterday we talked about a tweak I had tried and which had failed.  He talked me through what I had done and gave me solid advice for me to try next.

And that is pretty much life in a nutshell.  We keep trying things.  We keep looking at what we are doing, what we might change, analyzing the results.

Just like in weaving (and spinning, felting, all the fibre crafts - all the crafts, really).

Yesterday I also talked with a couple of people about my brother and his vision for the railway museum here in town.  I was touched that, even though neither of them had known Don, they assured me that his presence is still very much in evidence and that he is still well respected there.

This morning when I looked out the window, I could not see the hill that I knew was out there.  And I thought about how the future is also obscured.  But it is out there.  We have to live as though what is obscured will be revealed.  Work toward making the world a better place.  Extend a helping hand to others who may be dealing with things we know nothing about.

Because right now?  We are all flailing about trying to live our lives in the best way we can. 

Dr. Henry has been trying for six months to keep us safe.  As more information about the pandemic comes available, advice may have changed and may change again.  But the theme of staying safe remains the same - try to remove yourself from the line of transmission - stay away from crowds of people.  If you have to go out, try to maintain safe social distance (at least six feet - or one hockey stick if you are Canadian), wear a mask if you can't, wash your hands when you get home.

The numbers of cases increases daily.  The number of deaths increases daily.

Stay safe and well my lovelies.  And be kind.  No one knows what another person is dealing with.  And no one knows what the future holds.  That doesn't mean we stop trying, stop planning, stop learning.  It just means that we don't know and can't know, until it is revealed.

Do the best you can.  When you know better (more), do better.