Focus

 

“We choose to go to the Moon,” Kennedy said. “We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”

Now I'm not saying that anything *I* do is in the realm of putting a human being on the moon, but I don't let the fact that something is 'hard' stand in the way of my *trying* to do it.

Like the GCW master weaver tests.  Like being a professional weaver in the latter part of the 20th and early years of the 21st centuries.

Like learning as much as I possibly can about how to create textiles of different qualities and designs.  

Or putting what I know into written form - articles, books, developing workshops, filming classes.

None of those were 'easy'.  As they say, if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

This morning I read a blog (Tien Chiu) and listened to a vlog (Felicia Lo) and they both talked about doing big things.  Sweeping things.  Hard things.  But in different ways.

What really struck me, though, was their laser focus.  Their intent to reach their goals.  To keep doing the hard things and do the best they can.  Maybe even win a record (Tien) or just accomplish a sweeping goal (Felicia).

I thought about my own life and the things I have accomplished - self-publishing Magic in the Water is probably the biggest, and certainly one of the hardest, things I've ever tackled.

Other things simply pale in comparison.  Write articles for magazines?  I'll share a secret - I've written far more articles than ever got published.

Taught at conferences?  I've been 'rejected' more times than I've been accepted.

Given keynote addresses?  At times in front of hundreds of people?  Once you've gotten up in front of a small group of people to express an opinion, doing it for hundreds is just a matter of scale.  

In my last Olds class, I told them that as students in the master weaver program the expectation was that at some point they might find themselves speaking publicly.  I saw cringes happening and told them that there was really nothing to be nervous about.  That mostly they just needed to speak from their passion.  I shared that I'm an introvert but that I always speak from my passion.  Then asked them if they sensed that that is what I do.

And they agreed.  They recognized that I DO speak from my passion.  I encouraged them to 'practice' by doing guild programs.  Writing articles and submitting them for consideration.  And be prepared for rejection every time they did.

If I ever allowed myself to be discouraged because another article had been rejected, I never would have written one book let alone two.  I would never have started this blog.  And frankly?  I'm astonished how many have joined me in my continuing adventures.

Felicia talked about how it is easy to become overwhelmed when she tries to do All The Things.  And how she is trying to stay focused on her current goals.  

And that is essentially what I try to do.  So my current goal of weaving down my stash?  That has been my focus for a number of years.  Am I bored of doing that?  Not at all.  Because I focus on one category of yarns and weave as much of it as possible, until there really isn't enough to do something with.  Then I either give the dribs and drabs away, or I shelve what is left until I decide if I want to keep using that yarn in the future.  Or not.  If I do go back to it, I'll buy more yarn, but in a different way.  Less bulk, more choices.  In other words, instead of ordering 10 tubes each of 5 colours, I might order 4 tubes each of 20 colours.  Because I no longer need to weave in quantities.

Right now I'm working through the 2/20 mercerized cotton and fine linen stash.  I'm satisfied with my progress even though I'm finding it increasingly difficult to *see* the fine threads.  And once I'm done with the 2/20 cotton, I will go back to a more 'comfortable' thickness.  The very fine silk yarns I inherited?  I may begin plying them together so that they are thick enough I can see them to use them.  

Gradually I am seeing empty spaces open up on the yarn shelves.  I'm also having fun stretching my creativity to use up what I have, not buy in more yarn (yet!)  

But mostly?  I credit the years of honing my focus to keep going, even in the midst of a large project, so stay on track, to keep going even when I get tired.  I've learned to take breaks and stop pushing to the brink of exhaustion, especially now that I'm older and it takes longer to recover from injury - I make sure I don't injure myself in the process.

Ultimately we choose.  We choose to do what we do.  Every day we make choices.  Sometimes they are made for us (injury/illness).  And then we have to change our focus from the making to the healing/recovery.  But even after the broken ankle, the chemo, the by-pass surgery, and yes, even now while I wait for pain control assistance, I keep my focus.  Two towels a day is my goal.  Until the warp is done.  Then dress the loom, and begin again.  

Next week I have to focus on the class prep for the two classes I'm doing for SOS.  The time I haven't been actively working on them has not been wasted - instead I've been thinking through what I want to do, say, and need to illustrate the topics.  I have them 'set' in my mind now so it is time to sit at the computer and start generating the drafts to illustrate the lace weave structures.  I may not get to the loom for a couple of days, but the class deadline is now officially 'looming' and my focus will shift to that next week.  That doesn't mean I won't go back to weaving two towels a day once the class prep is done - it just means I'm aware of the time passing, how much time I need to do the class prep and I need to shift my focus to get that done.

Focus.  Especially when something is hard.