There are times when I hit a pot hole in life and I just kind of...fall in. The world, as they say, has been too much with me.
Yesterday I came to the realization that part of my problem with working on short form video clip 'lessons' is that I can't produce them to the quality I would like them to have.
On the other hand, I started doing video clips a number of years ago, have 24 on my You Tube channel some of which have over 30,000 views.
So why am I having such a hard time now?
The past week I worried away at Zoom and felt totally inadequate to the task. Then other things happened in the world and my way of coping was to try to ignore as much of it as I could and keep on weaving. I have this artsy-fartsy notion that if I can just keep pouring creative energy into the world, that I can keep trying to add positivity to counter what is happening.
I can't solve the pandemic. I can't solve racism. I can't solve the crumbling politics, or the poverty, or...anything. My power, if you will, is to keep being creative, keep trying to educate those who want it. But it all got more than a little overwhelming.
We have also had a string of grey rainy days which hasn't helped my mood. The rain has meant that the bush has been kept from drying out, which is A Good Thing, because our snow levels here were below average. And if it goes dry, there could be severe wildfires again this year.
Yesterday I cut the latest warp off the loom and wet finished the 8 towels. They will get pressed today and then I'll begin beaming the next warp. I'm still not happy with how I'm getting warps onto the Megado, so after 10 warps I will tweak my process again and see if I can get better results.
And that's the thing about life. To live it without getting stuck in a pot hole. Especially one of one's own devising.
So back to the short video clips. I need to understand why all of a sudden I am holding myself to a higher standard than previously. That I need to accept that my clips won't be 'perfect', and that ultimately, it won't much matter so long as I can get the information out there. I had estimated that I might have content ready for my birthday in July. Well, it's June now. If I'm going to do this, I need to climb out of that pot hole and get started.
I have managed to post towels to my ko-fi account shop, so if anyone is interested they can use the link (on my monitor it appears in the lower left corner) and browse. My plan right now is to offer the current run of towels between July 1-9 at a special birthday offering. I should have at least 11 warps completed by then, which might be the total number of warps in this series, and I will post one colour per day. Or at least, that's the plan. Which all too often gang aft aglay...
This Sunday is another Zoom meeting, and the Sunday after that the next Sunday Seminar. At some point I need to put my thinking cap on and start working on the short video clips. And see how awful they wind up once I hit 'record'. Or if I'm just being far too hard on myself.
In the meantime I've gotten my hands on The Fabric of Civilization by Virginia Postrel. I got it through the library, and decided I needed my very own copy, and voila, the local indy bookstore had a copy on their shelf. It now has my name on it and I'll pick it up tomorrow. Barely 20 pages in (if that) and already glad I bought the book. I'll do a proper book review when I'm further into it.