Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Fallow Means Resting

 


chrysalis

There are times when I don't have much brain power, for whatever reason.  During those times I find that when I have a series I'm working through, I can do the physical aspect while not needing to draw upon brain power.  Of which I may have little to none.

Over my lifetime I have dealt with one health issue after another, not knowing at times what was causing my physical distress.  As one health professional put it, when one's primary symptom is fatigue, that doesn't narrow the field much.

But I also do a lot of back of the burner kind of thinking.  Where an idea will pop up - usually a Big Project of one kind or another - and I park that thought in the back of my mind where I will let it simmer.  From time to time I poke at it.  Add a little more information.  Stir it around.  Let it simmer some more.

And so it is right now.

I have just finished a series of warps, all the same quality (dimensions, weave structure, yarn quality) during which time I wasn't required to think very much.  Most of my time was therefore directed at poking at the Zoom lecture series I've been working on, wondering where to go, what to do, when they are finished.  

I have three groups right now, one of them two lectures ahead of the other two.  So I get to test drive the lecture with the one group, then if I need to make corrections or additions, I can do that for the following ones.

All of the information I'm including is stuff I consider essential if someone is to truly master the craft.  But get 10 weavers in a room and ask a question and you'll likely get 20 answers.

So I encourage people to read lots of books, watch videos by other people, think through their own particular situation.  Because it depends.  It really, truly does.

Thinking about the pandemic and my own personal health issues, I am becoming more and more convinced that my travelling (in person) days are over.  But!  I would like to pass my knowledge on, as best I can, to others.

So while the Zoom lectures have been simmering, I was also letting a somewhat smaller pot simmer back there as well.

Lo and behold, an opportunity to explore that idea further and yes, it is just as complicated/complex as I thought it would be.  Frankly, when I read through the recommendations?  I hesitated.  Do I have enough energy to do this?  Perhaps.  Do I feel comfortable enough in front of a video camera to do this?  Um, not really.

The years have not been particularly kind to this body and a camera always adds visual pounds on top of what is actually there.  Not to mention I have worked with my hands all of my life and they show it.  I am reluctant to tape myself doing stuff close up and personal because my hands are not 'pretty'.  This body has been rode hard and put away wet.  And it shows it.

OTOH, when I was having chemo wondering why I wasn't losing any weight the clinic nurses told me to celebrate that I had 'resources'.  Because chemo is not kind to the body and people dealing with cancer and chemo need all the resources they can get.

So I work on my attitude towards my body.  And remind myself that people will participate for the knowledge I have, not for my physical appearance.

The caterpillar undergoes a massive sea change in it's form when it is in chrysalis form.  Fallow means 'resting', not unproductive...

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