Hard to believe that is me. Significantly younger. I'm wearing a silk outfit I wove and had sewn and wore too little to justify the expense of making it. I kept 'saving' it for 'special' - until I out grew it.
I've been thinking - a lot - about my younger self. There is a 'thing' on Facebook that asks what you would tell your younger self if you could.
I'm not sure I would have any message for the me that was me when I was in my 30s. I was pretty bull headed, as my mother would put it. I'm not so sure 30 year old me would listen to 70 year old me.
Have I had a 'perfect' life? On no. Hell no! Have I had a life of challenges? Hell yes! Have they been worth it? To be determined, I suppose, by someone other than me.
I am a master weaver - even have the piece of paper that says so. Does that mean I never make mistakes? Hell no.
This week I have been working through a complex project on behalf of another weaver/designer/teacher and it has been...challenging.
People process information in different ways so I have to interpret what they want. Then, because I want to work as efficiently as possible I tend to try to crunch the data so that I can work as ergonomically and efficiently as possible.
Part of doing that is re-interpreting the data and coming up with a way of looking at it that makes sense to me. So I reviewed the draft, made some adjustments, wound the warp, then beamed it. Yesterday I threaded the warp and discovered I was short 3 ends on either side of the centre stripe.
So I wound three ends onto a bobbin and threaded them in where they belong. I don't think it will work to leave them all on one bobbin, but right now the two bobbins are containing the ends so that I can finish setting up the loom. Then, if necessary, I can separate them and hang them individually.
Mastery doesn't mean you don't make mistakes. Hopefully you just recognize them when you make them and can figure out a way to fix them.
So I suppose I would say to my 30 year old self, if I could, 'don't worry - you'll figure it out'.
And please. Don't anyone tell me I should have smiled. I was then (and am still now) experiencing chronic pain and that day I was not feeling well. I was just managing to hold things together and was, frankly, exhausted.
But being bull headed, I was determined to do what needed to be done. And that, I think, is worth remembering when I look back on my life.
I survived - as a weaver in the 20th and 21st centuries. And I will continue to weave for as long as I can. Perfect, or not.