Keep Going

 

I noticed this fridge magnet for sale in a shop not long after I had been diagnosed with cardiac blockages and was going through the hell of adverse drug reactions, the death of my brother and continuing to scramble to travel to teach, weave to sell, write for publication.  Life was very...challenging...and this quote caught my eye and reminded me that I most definitely did not want to stop where I was.  Whatever it took, I had to keep going.  So I bought it to remind myself to keep going.

It's been 2 and a half months since the shingles diagnosis and yesterday my eye doc finally declared that she was happy.  Healing was happening, finally.  It sounds like I will get to keep the vision in that eye although I'm still dealing with the fallout from the shingles outbreak and now patches of 'dry' that she is concerned about and which means I will be gradually weaned off the prescription eye drops but maintaining the dry eye drops while she continues to closely monitor my eye.

And the anti-viral meds.  She says at least six months, to make sure the shingles virus really has been overcome.  But she also warned that my immune system (which is compromised due to the cancer) is now severely compromised as it had to curb the shingles virus and get it under control again.  And no, the anti-viral drug I'm taking for shingles will not have much if any effect on covid.

All my focus on protecting myself from covid will have to continue and truth to tell, given the way covid has constantly been allowed to grow into really devastating 'waves' I may never feel 'safe' in public again.  I have certainly loved NOT having a cold or flu for the past two years.  

Truth to tell, there were several days in the early stages of the shingles outbreak that I almost gave up.  I was just too sick and too exhausted to keep going.  But the fridge magnet was there to remind me to keep going.  I needed to get through the mire and to the other side.

But I'll be honest - it was hard.  I haven't been that sick for a very long time.

The whole experience has left me feeling drained, with very little energy.  Once I started feeling better I concentrated on my weaving.  For a couple of hours a day I could focus on something else and even though I was tired afterwards, at the end of the day I could add up the fact I'd been productive and managed to weave one towel, then back to two towels a day.  It was a minor victory, but nonetheless, it felt like I might be getting through this time.

Today I will begin beaming another tea towel warp.  If I have done my calculations correctly there should be just enough yarn for another warp.  If I haven't, I will have to wait for the yarn order from Brassard to arrive.  But they say they are overwhelmed with orders right now and while they are working on their backlog, there will be a delay before they process my order.  

However, I DO have another loom, currently sitting empty.  And I've got about 50 pounds of rayon chenille that needs using.  So, I will see how far I get (hopefully all the way) today and decide what I will do once I know if I can continue with the tea towels or need to pivot to something else.  

I am SO CLOSE to using up the last of my 2/16 yarn, I was really hoping to be able to finish it off this spring.  But as with so many things in life, sometimes things happen and you just need to go with the flow.  Take a detour.  Choose another path entirely.

But whatever happens, keep going.  You really don't want to stop while you are in hell.