Ephemeral

 

Over the past few years a number of people in the weaving/fibre community have gone to where ever people go when they leave this mortal coil.

It has been sad watching my mentors, elders, friends go.  When each announcement comes I take a few moments to think about them.  If I met them in real life or not doesn't much matter.  Frequently it was their activity on line that introduced them to me, allowed me to know them a little bit, enjoy their sense of humour or their perspectives.  Frequently their lives were very different from mine, which helped me to expand my horizons, think about other realities.  Accept that just because things elsewhere might be different, mine were not better or worse, just...different.

Sometimes they inspired me to be better as a person, as well as a weaver.  

And while I'm sure that my presence was felt very little in these on line circumstances, I send them a thought.  A little bit of gratitude, for having impacted me, even if only at a glance (as it were).

But that's the thing, isn't it?  We never know who we will affect, be it for good or not.  Generally my interactions with people have been positive.  Most negative interactions are taken as lessons to be learned from and filed away for future reference.

This morning I am feeling 'better' but still 'fragile' so I'm not going to be weaving today.  Not entirely sure what I will be doing, but my back is just cranky enough that I won't pressure it to go to the loom.

Which is a disappointment because the loom is ready to go with that new threading and I really wanted to see how it looked woven up.  But it will have to wait until Monday.  I'm sure my back will thank me for it.

Instead I wrote another essay.

Surprisingly they continue to range in the 1200-1800 word count.  I honestly thought they would grow once I got into the actual processes.  But on the other hand, I'm still not quite there yet, even though I inch ever closer.  This morning I looked at temples.

Ultimately, perhaps shorter is better when I am addressing things that may go against the prevailing wisdom of the craft?  

Keeping the essays more focused on just one concept, keeping them short, should make them more attractive and maybe even more accessible?  

I am trying to bear in mind that these are my stories I am telling and that people will agree or not, be interested enough to think about them, or not, be willing to change what they are doing, or not.  Because each of us must work within our circumstances.  The availability of materials, equipment, budget will be a factor in what we do.  I am hoping that if people keep in mind that they are free to do things differently they will be more accepting of things that seem different from the common wisdom.  That they might keep an open mind when they initially disagree with something I share.  But that, having been given the information, might remember that when they change what they are doing and are not getting the results they want, that there might be a different way, a different tool, to use.

Because change one thing and everything can change.  And one of the most difficult things we can do is change our way of thinking.

And that is what several of the people who have died have done for me.  Challenged me to change my thinking.  Change my mind.  Keep myself more open to change and new information.

Ultimately it is the greatest gift someone can give me - a chance to grow and expand my thinking.

A while ago there was a thread on a chat group that talked about weavers 'heaven' and I commented that if there were no looms there I wasn't going to go.  Allen Fannin said he would see me in the other place, then.  

I think of him at times, wondering if he is happily weaving where ever he is, having challenging conversations with Peter Collingwood and others.  Perhaps one day I'll find myself sitting at their feet, all ears...