Derailed

 

I had booked all my appointments - or as many as I could - for one day so that only one day got 'ruined' for weaving.

Then the middle appointment cancelled due to illness.  I could be weaving now, but I just had part two of the Shingrix vax and the general advice is not to do anything physical afterwards.

This morning the smoke is worse than it has been - so far this year.  We've certainly had it 'worse' in the past, but right now?  It's bad.

Were any other people out and about wearing masks?  No.  I was the only one I saw.  In spite of more than a week of air quality advisories recommending people wear masks to protect against the smoke.  You'd think after covid more people would have masks to hand and pay attention, but apparently not.

I wear a mask rated to N95.  It's not a really tight fit, but it's pretty good.  But the smoke is everywhere, not just outside.

We are running the hepa filter on high for nearly all of the day.  If the smoke gets worse we may run it on high 24/7 and just turn the tv up louder in the evening.  :(  We also have the furnace fan running 24/7.  With the filters on the furnace, the hepa filter in the living room, we are doing everything we can to filter the air.

Because I am allergic to smoke.  Already I have been experiencing the 'usual' effects from that allergy - increased pain levels (oh joy, yet *more* pain), sore throat, sinus irritation and this morning the nose bleeds started.

And it's only MAY.  This could go on until September.

The fires are devastating Alberta, and now we have serious fires in the north eastern part of our province.  There are other smaller fires elsewhere as well, but so far most of them are being controlled (which does not mean out - they can continue to smoulder for a long time until they get a big enough dump of rain - preferably without lightning arriving with the rain.)

It all feels very overwhelming.  I feel stymied on every level.  Yes, I could go weave, but perhaps at the risk of a much bigger adverse reaction to the vax that will take longer to resolve.

So I am practicing staying in the moment.

In this moment I choose to NOT weave.  In this moment I choose to NOT be upset or anxious.  In this moment I CAN do something else - hem those tea towels, build a puzzle, who who knows, read some of my books.

Patience, Grasshopper.  I have a feeling it is going to be a very long summer...