In 2004, Wayne Dyer published a book called The Power of Intention. At the time I was going through some tough times - I'd just spent years working towards the master certificate granted by the Guild of Canadian Weavers, then turning my final level monograph (as it was called then) into a book, (Magic in the Water) scrambling to get it ready for publication in time for the HGA conference being held in Vancouver in 2002.
I'd just come through another whiplash injury (1994) and then a clinical depression requiring medication (that resulted in weight gain that never came off when I finished my course of medication, leaving me with body image issues).
I had also been trying for 30 years to keep my business afloat during this time and I was - frankly - exhausted, and looking for answers. A friend and I had been reading self-help books in an effort to figure things out.
Dyer's book came at just the right time. It encouraged me to think about what I was doing - was I looking forward, or just reacting to what was happening as best I could.
2004 was my coast-to-coast-to-coast travel year. I was home less than I was on the road. There was time on planes and sitting in airports, or long road trips, to just think. So I thought. I thought about what I wanted to do, and what I did not.
I had long before given up on new year resolutions. They too frequently fell by the wayside as I reacted to things, and then I would feel guilty.
In the end, I found that focusing on intention rather than setting resolutions worked much better for me. Intention became a soft focus, not a hard one. It allowed for changing plans. It allowed for looking at a situation and adjusting course, knowing that sometimes? A detour will get you to where you want to go more easily than forging ahead.
I went back to my original intent when I became a weaver, realizing that all of those intentions still held true. I wanted to set my own schedule. I wanted to work creatively. I even wanted to work physically. I wanted the mental stimulation of the learning that goes along with working creatively.
As I began to focus on what was important to me, I also realized that after 30 years of weaving I was tired. (Turns out I was also having health issues - there was a reason for my fatigue beyond a busy schedule!)
My intention to earn an income meant that at times I did things I didn't really want to do, in part because as an independent self-employed person, you did things because it meant money now. And you never really knew if there would be money next year. Or next month, come to that.
The more I learned about weaving, the more I understood how much intention played a role in what I did. What I wanted to do. And the more I focused on my intention, the less I worried about what other people thought of what I was doing, or me.
I never *intended* to write another book. But somehow, that is where I wound up. I discussed the project with a number of people, had the concept turned down by one publisher, decided that in the end self-publishing was probably the best approach anyway. I knew I'd never get 'rich' from writing a second book - a niche topic for a niche market. But it afforded me complete control over the content and how the material was presented (within certain constraints, just like weaving.)
By 2015 I was also feeling like I wanted to leave something behind that might be of interest (if not value) to future weavers. In the face of some really trying times (more health issues) I worked on the manuscript for a number of years. Finally decided that I really needed an editor and assistance with publishing on line and found the perfect person to help guide this project into being.
And I learned once again that I didn't need to do everything all by myself for it to count. That I could hire the skills of another person to augment what I intended to have happen.
Two years ago this week I was writing out address labels, customs forms, and waiting for the delivery of books for the pre-publication offer.
This year I am working at figuring out how to make 'retirement' work for me. Covid meant all my teaching for Olds was cancelled, and it isn't looking great for next year, with numbers growing exponentially.
So no resolutions. Instead the intent to keep weaving down my stash. Encouraging new weavers to learn how to explore the wonderful world of weaving.
May your warps be straight and strong and true.
(No, I don't have copies of either book. The only way to get one is to order on-line from blurb.ca or blurb.com if you are outside of Canada)